Sunday 7 July 2013

Hospital Life

     Well, I've survived my first two weeks at the hospital.

     Okay, I'm cheating a little; I was admitted two Mondays ago, so technically it hasn't been a full fortnight, but I'm taking my successes where I can get them these days.

     All-in-all, hospital life isn't terrible. I have my own private room with big windows, storage, and a nice bathroom and shower. I get a fair amount of privacy, besides the odd nurse popping in to give me pills or a shot, and the bed isn't as awful as I'd expected it to be (though I won't go so far as to call it comfortable). The food isn't the best, but it's edible, and occasionally there are decent surprises like this morning's cinnamon french toast, a vast improvement from yesterday's single piece of untoasted bread.

     I think the hardest part of being here is exactly what I'd thought it would be: living away from home. I miss my cat, I miss my dog even more, and I miss my husband, even though 5 days out of the week he's right here next to me. Normally at the end of the night if we were at home we'd cuddle up together in our cozy bed, feet touching like they have every night since we first laid together, his warm body wrapped around mine in the most soothing way. I'm used to his occasional shifts in sleep, his tired scent, and his soft hands that always flicker against mine in the darkness when I find myself tossing against insomnia. Here at the hospital though he has to sleep away from me, on a cot bed low to the ground that made me cry our first evening here when I saw it and realized we couldn't touch. We've rectified the problem slightly now by pulling his bed next to mine while he slings his leg up on my mattress, but obviously it's nothing compared to the comfortable situation we had back in Chilliwack.

     I've tried to make it as homey as possible here of course; pictures of my family, my favourite blankets, and a vast collection of books litter the room. But while I'm adjusting, it still doesn't serve to completely ease the homesickness I feel in my stomach whenever I look out the window and realize that I'm so close yet so far from where my heart is.

     Visitors help though, and of those I've had plenty! My mom and brother have come a few times bearing novels and treats, my best friends stopped by with a seemingly never-ending supply of food and stories, my sister and brother-in-law appeared in possession of a laptop loaded with music and DVD's, and my very favourite aunt and uncle-in-law surprised us last Sunday with much-needed hugs and cookies for the afternoon.

     And it was all of that that made me really want to write this blog post: to lament the negative experiences, but then to shake them off and express what I'm grateful for. Because honestly, while I am by no means enjoying staying in the hospital, things could be so, so much worse and I have to count my blessings when they come. All month long I've been reading novels from India, Africa, and beyond, placed now and centuries ago, in which pregnant women squat in the grass to have their babies before continuing work, or hemorrhage during labour, or lose their infants due to inadequate care or abuse; in comparison to this, being away from home for the summer is a small price to pay for mine and my girls' health and well-being.

     So here it is... The things I'm thankful for:

     1. I'm thankful for my loving, giving, selfless husband who is sacrificing not only his own time and life at home, but many comforts as well to be here to support me. He gets me anything I need whenever I need it, combats my hormonal fluctuations with a smile, and never fails to find a way to make me laugh every single day regardless of what's going on here.

     2. I'm thankful for our amazing family and friends from whom we've received endless amounts of love and sustenance... From the minute we found out what was happening and made it public we've had phone calls, e-mails, Facebook messages, and well-wishes from so many that we know including old friends and faraway relatives of mine who I haven't seen in years. This experience has really taught us to recognize who is important in our life and deserves a place in it and who simply doesn't. It's very true that you never see the reality of people's character until you're struggling; that's when the good ones step forward (and the not-so-good ones go into hiding) and we've been blessed with having many, many good ones around us during this difficult time.

     3. I'm thankful for no stretch marks! Okay, I know that this seems a rather vain and irrelevant thing to be thankful for, but when I found out I was having twins it became a big fear of mine. However, up until this point (knock on wood!) My skin remains unblemished, and given the amount of strangers looking at my belly every day it's a nice little victory. I also haven't had any other awkward pregnancy complications like enormous weight gain or acne thus far, so besides sometimes thinking that I resemble a planet with limbs I'm feeling pretty good.

     4. I'm thankful that, despite the emotional effect staying here occasionally has on me, my girls are still flourishing. Their growth is excellent, they're incredibly active (and enjoy kicking each other in the face as the ultrasounds have shown) and don't seem to be suffering from any of the developmental complications that can plague a twin pregnancy like ours. For that, we are very lucky.

     5. I'm thankful that my sister didn't clear the music off of her laptop before she brought it to me here, as in attempting to play Kanye's "Yeezus" I discovered a file full of The Eagles, Bob Marley, Justin Timberlake, Elvis, Tom Petty, and more, so I'm currently having a solo (bed-ridden) dance party in my hospital room and loving life.

     6. And lastly, I'm thankful that I live in Canada! Because if this was the U.S.A. we'd owe a ridiculous amount in medical bills right now! I really should have found a way to celebrate Canada Day last weekend... I think my country deserves a little recognition.

:)

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