Well my girls are finally a year old, and after thinking
about it for a while, I realized I don’t have much to say except that honestly,
it was a really challenging year. More than double the work, and more than
double the joy. But what I do know is that I don’t want to talk about the NICU;
we celebrated their birthday on Sunday with wonderful friends and family and it
was SO NICE to talk about Scarlett and Olivia as they are, rather than as the
two pounders they were. I really want to focus on what's ahead of them, rather than
their difficult past; that being said, in preparation for the year to come I’ve
compiled a list of 25 things my first year as a twin mama taught me. It's my view that studying history is the only way to ensure the same mistakes aren't made in the future, so here we go!
1. Don’t watch Anchorman a few days after a c-section. Tears of laughter will quickly turn into tears of excruciating pain and a tearing incision. “Scotch scotch scotch I love scotch…”
2. Take the time to drink your coffee! When you’re home alone with two crying babies all day, one cup of coffee can sit without being consumed for hours. So practice some self-care, sit down, drink it, and give yourself permission to relax. You don’t always have to be moving to be a good mom.
3. Don’t place an open diaper from baby #1 anywhere near baby #2, as they WILL grab it and throw the contents around the room.
4. Playing nursery rhymes while driving might sound like a nightmare, but it will make you less insane than the constant car tantrums.
5. Speak up when something bothers you. You’re going to have to do it for your children, and teach them to do it for themselves, so you might as well start practicing now.
6. Beware of pushing a shopping cart down a narrow aisle or through the till at the grocery store. Babies WILL reach in opposite directions, grab whatever their little hands can get a hold of, and cause absolute chaos.
7. Lift weights. 2 babies are damn heavy and there will be many times they both want mom to hold them!
8. Everyone you run into WILL say something along the lines of “omg twins? Are they twins? You must have your hands full! Are they identical? Oh really? They don’t look identical. Are you sure? Were they naturally conceived? Oh really? Did you carry them? How? OH, they were preemies, that’s why you’re not enormous. You must have to buy two of everything! Have fun when they’re teenagers! I bet they’re sleeping through the night because you don’t look like a total trainwreck. Two for the price of one! You’re lucky, one pregnancy, instant family! I know someone who has twins. (And I’m going to tell you ALL about it.)
9. On that note, being stared at, pointed at, and talked about loudly whenever you’re in public isn’t exciting, it’s uncomfortable.
10. Old people cannot resist the cuteness that is identical twin baby girls. They will swarm you; just go with it. Besides, they usually have the best things to say.
11. Whatever vehicle you have, make sure the back-middle seat is comfortable, because whenever your husband is driving that’s where you’re going to spend most of your time.
12. Once you have twins you become a part of this multiple moms club, and no one will ever understand what you're going through as well as another member. When you meet one, take every scrap of advice they’re willing to give (and usually there’s a lot of it.)
13. Don’t use adult nail clippers on a newborn. Enough said.
14. Baby giggles are adorable. Twin babies giggling at each other is a day-maker. (Can you say built-in best friend?)
15. Don’t isolate yourself when you’re overwhelmed; reach out and ask for help.
16. All the bratty things you did as a kid and teenager WILL come back to bite you through your children. (Olivia is my little stubborn, bossy, screamy clone. Sigh.)
17. Take advantage of individual cuddles, hugs, and kisses whenever you can get them. With one moving toddler it’s hard, with two who are constantly distracting each other it’s nearly impossible to fill my hug quota for the day.
18. Lift with your legs.
19. Murphy’s law always applies for the rest of the day when someone pukes.
20. Have a camera ready! Twins do the craziest things when they’re together, like the other day when they started giggling and hugging each other in the bath (we only got a video of the last bit of laughter). You never know what magical moment is about to happen in front of you and some things are too amazing not to be captured.
21. Animal crackers are a lifesaver!
22. One sister will always want what the other one has, even if what’s in her hands is infinitely better. ALWAYS.
23. Be non-judgemental of other moms. You don’t know their journey.
24. Accept that some people won’t be able to understand why you have changed, and why your life has, and friendships may fade away. This is natural and normal, and almost always for the best.
And last but certainly not least…
25. Be prepared for constant curveballs; life is unpredictable, twin life is even more so, and you have no choice but to learn to roll with the punches!
So there you have it! You know, I initially approached my first year of motherhood as a mountain to be climbed, subconsciously thinking that once they turned one I would have scaled the peak and I could coast the rest of the way down. It’s silly really; I realize now that motherhood isn’t a mountain, it’s a journey that, while might contain some big hills, is permanent and ever-changing. Year two will mean many things for my girls, like walking, and potty-training, and filling their little sponge-like brains; as nervous as I am for all of it, I’ve reached a point where I realize that as long as I have my husband and my two sweet girls by my side, everything will be okay. (Particularly if we get air conditioning, cause DAAAAAAAMN this apartment is hot.)
Happy July!
xx
