Twinology: 10 Months

Today Scarlett and Olivia turned 10 months old, and I've had to reconcile myself to the fact that they're not at all where I thought they'd be at this point. They're not walking yet, or crawling like other babies their age, they're not pulling themselves up into a stand, and they still get overwhelmed by large groups of people. I'll admit it's been difficult to have a first year that is extended, where I'm unable to mark their progress like that of a full term child because I'm never quite sure when something will happen. But I have to remind myself that they were extremely premature. The first 2.5 months of their lives that other babies spent learning, they spent in incubators with tubes up their noses, sleeping constantly. I have to remind myself that they were born in the heart of summer when they were supposed to stay in the womb until a couple weeks before Halloween. And I have to remind myself that the whole world will compare them to each other and to others, and they in turn will do the same; the best thing I can do is to make no comparisons and simply celebrate them as they are.

So, that being said, things have changed a lot between 9 and 10 months. Their personalities are REALLY starting to show, and it amazes me to see them grow into these two functional little people. Being identical twins, obviously there are a lot of similarities to their personalities. They both are legitimately insane... they love to yell, wrestle, rip mommy's hair out and shove it into their mouths, chew their toes, chew each other's toes, and always seem to want the toy that the other one has. They mimic each other when they're in jumpers, bouncing simultaneously and then laughing hysterically afterwards. They both love the exact same types of food, and haven't shown any dislikes towards the mountains of veggies I pile into their purees. They adore having splashing competitions in the bathtub (Olivia always wins) and are seemingly oblivious to pain when it's delivered by their twin. They also both are incredibly impatient, which, while frustrating as hell, is also something they DEFINITELY inherited from me. Karma? 
Also like me, they LOOOOVE story time... they are entranced by books, and usually the longest stretch of silence we ever get besides naps is when we're reading to them.

But being two separate people, they also have enormous differences too; I think one of the most important things I can do for them is highlight those differences to avoid them being perceived as halves of a whole.

Olivia:

Olivia is my adventurous girl. She is very loud, outgoing, flirty, and easily willing to do a big smile for anyone who talks to her. She loves people, and isn't afraid to make her voice heard... no matter where we are. She is absolutely hilarious, is regularly overcome by this contagious rolling laughter, and thinks she has the funniest parents in the world... (That won't last.) She loves any game that is surprising and a little scary, like being thrown in the air or dropped and caught... anything that makes her gasp is sure to bring delight, so naturally playing with daddy is her favourite thing ever. She doesn't get onto her knees yet, but she army crawls and swivels wherever she wants to go... Shawn and I have taken to calling her Tasmanian Liv by the way she turns circles in her crib and tears up all her sheets. Olivia is EXTREMELY cuddly, will fall asleep on my chest, and is happy to sit on anyone's lap and get hugs and kisses. She is fascinated by the world, and is little a ball of life, energy, and joy. I am certain she is going to be a very passionate, happy, strong-willed individual; she scares me a little bit with her bravery, but I'm so excited to watch her grow. 

Scarlett:

Scarlett, in some ways, is the polar opposite of her sister. She's quieter, more hesitant to trust or smile, and tends to be frightened by loud games or noises. She is certainly a mama's girl, and hates being separated from me, which is equally difficult and wonderful. When she smiles and laughs it's so sincere and hopeful that you can't help but sweep her up into a hug. She loves having conversations; I'm sure she's convinced that all the noises coming out of her mouth are actual words, and she is overjoyed when you respond. Currently she's working on saying "mom", though her favourite is to yell "NEIN!" She is happy being with anyone who talks sweetly and intimately to her, and when she trusts someone she ALWAYS puts her hand on their face or mouth as a greeting. She has been lifting herself onto her knees and rocking, so crawling could come any day for her. Like her mama, she is very stubborn, and has been fighting naps and bedtime like crazy lately. She is a sweet, sensitive little girl who glows when she is happy; it is so easy to see how Olivia and her completely compliment each other and will be the best of friends.

Though some days are difficult (especially when they're teething, which they always take turns doing) I feel like the luckiest person in the world to share my life with these crazy fun little monsters. I am nervous and excited to see what the next couple months will bring as I plan their first birthday party (is it really almost summer?!) and to know that even if they're not able to walk towards their birthday cake when the day comes, they'll at least be able to smash the crap out of it. 

Happy Thursday!
xx

Celebrating Screams

With Mother's Day fast approaching this weekend, I've found that I'm reflecting a lot on something that's been affecting me lately as a mom, something childless me always swore wouldn't. 

But I have to start by being honest about something I'm not very proud of: before having the twins, I wore the ultimate bitch-face out in public. That's right, the one you saw staring at you disdainfully when your child yelled, or spilled something, or pulled down a rack of toys from a shelf. You're in Walmart and your leash-wearing toddler still manages to wreak havoc? Or your normally well-behaved daughter asks for a treat and cries when you say no? That old version of me was more than happy to shoot you the most scornful expression and make you feel like melting into the floor. 

But now with my children having approached an age where they're really using their voices for expression, Olivia has taken to screaming in stores. It's not all the time, and it's not in an angry way, she's just learning to communicate and at this point loud screams or exhalations are the only way she knows how. But I have to say, it really gets under my skin. I've been working on teaching them baby sign language (which they love, by the way!) But they aren't yet at a point where they're able to sign back. And so, Olivia makes noise. Other shoppers never seem to mind... they laugh, or say hello, but at times I feel this burning anger and embarrassment, like the vocal expressions of my under-one-year-old are some sort of reflection of my capabilities. Of course it's nothing to feel ashamed about, but having spent more than one occasion raising an eyebrow at a struggling mom, I find that that same nasty voice is now critical of me, too. Well deserved, I suppose. 

So last night laying in bed after the girls had gone to sleep, my annoyance boiled over and I asked my husband why Olivia felt the need to scream all the time. "It pierces my eardrums!" I said. "Sometimes I feel like I'm going to go crazy."

And Shawn, ever the accepting father, shrugged, and replied: "She's just more vocal."

It was an epiphany! I realized he was right. Olivia screams because she's more vocal. She has things to say! And isn't that a great thing for a girl? Maybe she will grow up to be fiercely opinionated, an excellent debater. Perhaps she will be a politician! Or maybe she has a story to tell, and like her mother she will speak and sing and write ones of her own. Her attempts at communication should be nothing short of celebrated, as an exciting new trait of her blossoming personality. So many girls and women are scared of voicing their opinions... the last thing I should do is make my child feel guilty for being bold enough to speak up. 

So the next time I hear a baby screaming in the grocery store, I won't wince, or cover my ears, or prepare a glare. Instead, I'll look around, seek out the eyes of the mother, and smile. After all, she's got a talker too. And that makes us pretty damn lucky. We're hard enough on ourselves as it is, the last thing any mom needs is a frown that implies she's doing a bad job; I for one have removed that face from my list of expressions, and I think everyone else should too. Condescension is for suckers. 

So (though it really should be Mother's Week) Happy early Mother's Day to all you kickass mama's out there! And to the pregnant ladies as well... carrying a baby is a feat in and of itself. Shouldn't you get a day too?

Ps: some pictures from today of my girls and their crazy hair doing what they do best, aka being little hams. 
xx

Twinology: Park Days

Well May has officially arrived, bringing with it sunshine and 27 degree temperatures! I know it won't last (it never really does in the lower mainland... inevitably the rain always returns), but I've been really enjoying soaking up as much of it as possible while it's here. Today we took Scarlett and Olivia to a big park a few minutes from our apartment for some fresh air and playtime... When I was the same age as the girls I used to go to this park with my parents, so it felt pretty cool to be reliving these experiences with a new generation. 

The day was beautiful! As with any outing with twins, it had its challenges; Olivia had a slight meltdown when I stopped her from eating a dandelion, and when I gave them crackers as compensation she stole her sister's, causing tears. But! I fed them some puréed butternut squash, read a little bit of my book, and attempted to play a round of basketball with my husband, babies on our hips. Now they're down for a nap and I think I'm going to take one as well, but before I do I'll share some photos from the day. 

Hope you're enjoying the sunshine as much as we are!

ps: it's romper season!

xx